Date: Thu, 4 Nov 1999 17:35:34 -0800

To: rocket@bullwinkle.org

From: Norman Earl Jakes

Subject: Another Applicant

Below is the result of your feedback form. It was submitted by

Norman Earl Jakes (instantmillions@hotmail.com) on Thursday, November 4, 1999 at 17:35:34

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email: instantmillions@hotmail.com

realname: Norman Earl Jakes

age: 30-50

FLAW: Drunk driving convictions

MOTHER: Overcooks waffles

AUTHORS: Tom Clancy, Steven Spielberg, George Hayeduke

BANDS: Citizen's

AM

Shortwave

SONGS: Achey-Breaky Heart (remix), It's Electric, Monday Night Football Theme

MOVIES: Death Wish, Sudden Impact, The Story of Us

URLS: www.hateclinton.com

www.snipercountry.com

www.about.com

SUCCESS: A country homestead, with plenty of kids, pretty flowers, good fishing, where I can shoot trespassers on sight

FUCKUP: Forgot to set the parking brake on my pickup; sank in lake

ANIMAL: A grizzley bear (does that make me sound gay?)

HOWLONG: Must it be in that order?

WHENFIRST: Does my sister count?

I can't remember when I first kissed.

DRUGS: Coffee

Jolt

Beer

Wine

Liquor

Pot

Acid

Speed

Coke

Crack

Crank

PCP

(plus I used hard drugs once or twice)

MARRIED: This question is too personal

RELATIONSHIPS: When the judge issued the restraining order.

HAIRCOLOR: Kind of blond.

No.

Man-length

PONYTAIL: You mean on me?

FACIALHAIR: Yes

CRAZYTHINGS: Some people think it was crazy of me to ride my mini-bike blind drunk through the mall

VEGETABLE: A vegetable

JEALOUS: Park outside her house for a couple weeks

OTHERLIFE: I hope not.

Obviously.

MAGIC: Your not going to do any voodoo on me, are you?

PSYCHIC: No

PSYCHO: Yes

TATS: I fell off a railway bridge once. Unfortunately, it's not visible with my clothes on.

INSANE: Nope

MILITARY: I was a security guard once for 3 1/2 weeks

BURNINGMAN: I didn't see it when it came out. Is it on DVD yet?

REDPAINT: No, but this is going to be part of the deal?

SCIENCE: Tie: Snow tires / Pepper spray

WOMEN: Need for the toilet seat to be down

MEN: Speed limit is too low

SOCIETY: Why do I have to pay taxes exactly?

MILLION: House where nobody would bug me.

New pickup.

Tweezers.

QUITJOB: Duh!

DREAMCAR: Invisible to the police

MOTORCYCLE: Yes

INFLUENCE: Lee Iacocca

OTHERPEOPLESAY: He was quiet; kind of kept to himself

YOUSAY: Adventurer. Patriot. Man. God.

MAGS: The Atlantic Monthly

(just kidding)

I've been meaning to subscribe to something heavy like "Time" for quite a while now

COSTUME: I once came dressed as a girl!

(I was DEAD SEXY!)

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